Mistake #1: Being an Open Book
When a woman meets someone she really likes,
she can't help but share her feelings with him. She talks about
her life experiences, personal history, and past relationships in an attempt to impress
him and show him that she is perfect for him. Moreover, she confesses
her feelings to him and lets
him know how much she likes him early on,
very, very early on...
If a man is logical, he'll very much appreciate
this kind of openness. But the reality is, when it comes to attraction,
a man is NOT logical. He's emotional! He acts according to
how he feels, rather than what makes sense.
This means, he may rationally, LOGICALLY
think you are the best match for him.
But if he doesn't feel that spark on a GUT
LEVEL, he will leave. This is one of the reasons why some guys leave a woman who,
in every sense of the world, seems perfect for him.
To make a guy feel that gut level attraction,
he has to wonder about two
things at the beginning:
(a) Does she like me?
(b) What's up with her?
The longer he wonders if you like him and
the longer he wonders what's going on with your life, the more he's intrigued
by you. At the beginning of a relationship, being intriguing generates
a lot of excitement for a man, enough to make him feel that gut level attraction and
make him come back for more.
Mistake #2: Letting a Man have the
Upper
Hand
When I was doing research on legendary seductresses
such as Cleopatra and Josephine Bonaparte, I discovered that these
women viewed love affairs differently from other women: they saw love
affairs as warfare, and they never ever gave the man the upper hand. They intuitively
understood that men love
challenges. He plans, struggles, and, after
a lot of effort, wins a woman over.
If you want to start having above-average
success with men, you'll have to start seeing things through a man's
eyes. That's what counts. From a man's perspective, if you let him have the
upper hand, you are really asking him to take you for granted, turn cold, and
eventually move on to someone who is
more of a challenge. Never give
him the upper hand. He has to fight for it!
Mistake #3: Being a
"Yes" girl
The men that most women feel attracted to
are the type called alpha males. These powerful and sometimes narcissistic
men like to give orders, tell women what to do, and dominate.
And the funny thing is, there's something
very sexy about a dominant man who knows what he wants and goes after it
ruthlessly. I don't blame you. I find the alpha male very sexy myself. But
I also understand that when it comes to attraction, allowing him to dominate and
allowing myself to become a "yes" girl is extremely unattractive for him.
The fact is that no matter how these powerful
men seem to want a woman to obey them, they secretly desire a woman who
will say "no." They are used to having people answer to them and having their
secretaries or personal assistants accommodate each of their little whims. After
a while, it just gets old. A woman who says "no" and
challenges him is extremely refreshing. Think about how Elizabeth Bennett got Mr. Darcy go gaga
about her, and you will get the idea!
Mistake #4: Trying too Hard
How many times have you cooked for a guy,
tried to do things for him, sat down for hours listening to him and making
him feel better, and had him reject you for some other girl he has to
work for? Isn't this counterintuitive?
We have learned from our experience that
to get something you want, you have to work hard to get it. That's the
logical way to do it. But when it comes to dating, NOTHING really Makes Sense. If everything
just flowed logically you wouldn't need me to sit here and write
this.
The thing is, attracting a man is different
from getting promoted. When you try very hard to impress a man, you are
really sending the following message: "I'm not good enough for
you and I have to try very hard to make you like me." All your efforts to
make his life better normally come across to a
man as insecurity about yourself.
They think, "Hmmm, if she's really a 'catch," why is she trying so hard?"
Mistake #5: Thinking that Looks
are
Everything
Well, looks are everything...if he's looking
for a one-night stand. In that case, a man couldn't care less about your
personality and your inner worth. But for the majority of men, looks are not
everything. The reality is that a man has a "Minimal Level" when
it comes to a woman's looks, and when I say
"minimal," it's...hmm...very
minimal. Once you pass that threshold, looks have little to do with a guy's attraction towards
you.
Mistake #6: Not understanding how
to
Handle Crucial Moments with Men
During the course of a relationship, there
are a few of what I call crucial moments. These are golden
opportunities for a woman to move the relationship to the next level. If left alone, a
guy would want to stay single and have unlimited access to you at the same time.
Unfortunately, women either don't
recognize these golden opportunities or,
in some cases, do recognize them but handle them in the wrong way. The ability
to recognize them and handle them in the right way, in my mind, is one
of the most important skills a woman can have.
Mistake #7: Allowing a Man to
Figure Out
your Pattern First
When a woman really likes a guy, she gives
him an "Instruction Manual," meaning she expresses her thoughts and feelings
so much that she pretty much tells the guy how to understand her and what
her pattern is.
Consider the following scenario: When you
are traveling on a plane and feeling bored and sleepy, you open one of the free
magazines that are in the seat pocket. After reading the table of
contents, you realize that there are some crossword puzzles on page 67. Bingo!
Now, you are awake and ready to
have a good time solving those puzzles. When
you rush to page 67, however, you are shocked to realize that a previous traveler
has solved all the crossword puzzles. Do you feel disappointed?
Upset? Or maybe even a bit cheated?
The same emotions go through a guy's mind
when you give him the answer key to understanding you and interpreting you. A
guy really sees a woman as a puzzle, a mystery that needs to be solved. There's
something very exciting about not knowing who she is or what she is thinking.
Source: Alexandra Fox www.unforgettablewoman.net
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