I used to say that I liked driving until I got to Lagos. Who would blame me, anyone who has had to drive in one of the terrible traffic deadlocks in Lagos, in a manually operated automobile, will definitely agree with me. For the benefit of those who do not know Lagos, though I would doubt if anybody doesn't. Lagos is the commercial hub of Nigeria, so you can imagine the level of activity in the city during the weekdays. There are some places in Lagos that one would not dare drive to, because you can be sure that you would spend the whole day there. It is our own little Paris, London or New York.... I mean it!
Unfortunately for me, when I moved to Lagos, I was living on the Lekki-Epe axis. Oh yea, but I actually told people I lived in the Lekki axis of the Lekki Epe axis...lol otherwise, no one will visit me. It is until they decide to actually visit that I explain to them that my area is actually called Ibeju Lekki. Anyways, by the time they drive past the famous Lagos Business School and I still mention that my house is about 10mins away at 120km/hour, we both conclude that I stay closer to Epe than Lekki. It was my little joke. Nice digression....
Back to driving in Lagos....where do I start from, I have decided to categorize the road users in Lagos, albeit not being able to put every user in my category, I will make a good effort to capture the majority users.
The Early birds- my idea of the early birds are those who leave their houses between the hours of 4-5am. These set of people claim that they do so because they cannot afford to drive in traffic. Thus they naturally whisk through the roads when it is very free and less busy. So imagine driving in front of these set of drivers on the road on a weekend, they will frustrate you with their incessant blaring of horns and hand gestures even when they see that there are no movement of cars, they will expect you to make use of every available space..... Who would blame them?
The experienced drivers- I have made up my mind that no matter the number of years that I have been driving, I will never try to outsmart a commercial bus driver, a truck driver or even a taxi driver on the road. Seriously! I will give it to those guys, they are very good drivers.....although I will not take the next turn to enable them overtake me like my mother taught me, I usually just slow down and allow the guy to zoom off while I glare in admiration. I have seen commercial drivers make U turns in the most impossible places, trust me, those guys can drive!!!
The professional drivers- You are right to conclude that every professional driver is not an experienced driver. I am referring to those who undertake driving as a profession. I am not even bothered about the drivers that work for companies, I am more concerned about the drivers employed by individuals....jeez! I know you have to please your boss but seriously step on it. It is even more frustrating when the car being driven is a luxury car, he boycotts the tiniest pot hole, breaks at every small obstacle and generally frustrates working housewives! I usually give these category a menacing stare that says it all for me.
The working housewives- well I fall into this category. Let me tell you something about some of us because I will not agree that I am the only one in this category. We usually hope everyday even when we leave the house very late that by some stroke of luck, the road will be less busy while we are on it. So you can imagine the frustration of being stuck in traffic and staring at the clock while it ticks away and you know you are late again. We are generally impatient and wonder what the driver in front of us is thinking. Let's not forget the fact that even while driving, some multitasking may be going on...making up, brushing hair and wondering where the time flew to given that one woke up early!!!!
The real housewives- From the way they drive, you can recognize them. They cannot be bothered because they do not have to resume work at 8am. if you live in the same estate, they are ready to chat with the next door neighbour while in the middle of the road....they are not willing to beat a yellow light and will encourage all drivers coming from a bend or corner to drive smoothly in front of them. Essentially, they are the good Samaritans on the road. Just imagine my reaction to these drivers on a day when I have an 8am meeting, it is 7.30am and I am yet to drop my daughter at school. I will not say more than that.
The motorcycle riders- I am sure so many people would have been surprised if I did not say anything about these category of road users in Lagos. Don't worry, I only saved the best for the last. You know, I really wonder whether there is a special training center for these riders. Oh my God......I will save my experience with motorcycle riders popularly called 'Okada' for another time. Myself and my friends once described them as a 'menace to the society'. Pardon our language but honestly the riders can frustrate any driver in Lagos. You have to watch out for them everywhere- right, left, front, back. They just fit the perfect expression of 'can't live with them, can't do without them'. I will really like to see how a motorcycle rider is being trained, there has to be a part where they are told that they are the Lords of the road!!!!
To be continued......
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