for the male folks, please substitute man for woman, he for she, him for her etc hehehehe
start a new hobby together
“Partners often drift away from each other to do their own thing, spending less and less time together. If you start a new hobby together, you’ll share laughs at each other’s foibles and a sense of accomplishment at each other’s successes,”
laugh at each other's jokes
Instead of rolling your eyes at that story you’ve heard a gazillion times, try to listen to it like you’ve never heard it before -- focus on the delivery, amuse yourselves with the other people’s reactions.
“Sure, you may have heard all jokes before, but isn’t it charming that he’s trying to make you laugh?” says Lieberman.
And who knows, if you laugh you just might start to find him funny again!
compliment him
Take the time to acknowledge the work he does at home or the office and you’ll see a boost in his confidence that you can’t resist.
“It’s easy to get stuck in resenting the annoying little habits your guy has and become oblivious to his endearing qualities,” says Lieberman. “If you open your eyes to the positive things he does, you’ll remember why you chose to be with him in the first place.”
do something crazy together
It doesn’t have to be sky diving, but do be a little adventurous and out of your element.
“When you both get out of your comfort zones, your man will likely rise to the occasion and be your knight in shining armor,” says Lieberman. “Seeing your man be brave to guide or protect you is a real turn-on.”
go on a double date
When you’ve been with each other for a while, you stop wooing each other. But he’s bound to be on top of his game in front of another couple and you’ll remember why he’s such a great catch.
“Double dating also brings sexual tension to your relationship -- in a good way,” says Lieberman. “When he sees the guy appreciating you, and you see the woman appreciating him, it awakens a spark of jealousy that interrupts your pattern of taking him for granted. Now he’s hot again.
let him be the man
Allow him to hold the door, kill a bug or fix something around the house (even if you can do it yourself).
“If you don’t emasculate him and instead let him be the ‘man’ in the relationship, you can bask in the warm feeling of being cherished,” says Lieberman.
It might be the 21st century and your man might be better at picking wine than putting up shelves, but when it comes down to it, he still needs to play protector and provider sometimes. So, let him. Is it that terrible to let him take care of you
get competitive
Whether it’s an outdoor sport or board game night, men love to compete. It’s an adrenaline rush.
“Ultimately, most men are more action-oriented then women are,” says Stephanie Knarr Ph.D., a marriage and family therapist in Washington D.C. “Getting competitive is a great way to reconnect with your partner because men communicate through action, so you're likely to learn more about him and satisfy some of his needs in the process.”
do it his way
Whether you’re barbecuing or putting together a toy, you may find that he has some ingenious ideas you haven’t previously considered.
“In today’s world, women have become used to taking the lead, especially in the home. However, letting your man take the lead on some of your projects can get him more invested and help him feel appreciated,” says Knarr.
brag about him
You may think great things about him but saying them out loud will make you remember them.
“Men have a strong need to be appreciated. They want to be your hero, so bragging about him -- in front of him -- is sure to get his attention,”
set a huge goal together
Whether it’s to travel the globe, buy a home or have a baby, making big plans can help you see him as a like-minded partner.
“Couples who have mutual plans, projects and goals are more likely to have a successful relationship,” says Knarr. “I recommend that couples clarify, revisit and discuss their goals as well as progress towards those goals on a regular basis. Doing this is a great way to reconnect, so make this one a habit!”
break your own rules
Whether it’s no feet on the couch or a two drink minimum, when you let down your own boundaries he will relax and go outside his comfort zone, too.
“This is a great way to open up the communication,” says Knarr. “If he likes it when you are flexible, turn off the rules on a more regular basis for him.
play the perfect hostess
Throw a dinner party for friends. It’ll force you to put petty differences aside and play the happy and extremely charming couple for the evening.
“Hosting a dinner party involves both of you in a project -- trying to make sure that the evening turns out to be delicious and fun. When your guests enjoy themselves, the two of you can bask in the success you created together,” says Lieberman.
Even though it’ll leave you with lots of dishes to do, you’ll also find it will bring new energy into your home.
wipe the slate
Make a decision to let go of old resentments, no matter how big or small and you’ll enter the next phase of your relationship together.
“This is easier said than done, but it is possible,” says Lieberman. “You need to seal the bargain by engaging in some sort of ritual, like going to a beach or lake or pool and literally washing away the resentments. Then follow with a candlelit dinner and an evening of passionate sex. By morning, you'll be thinking, what resentments?”
pretend you just met
Role play old dialogue you once had in real life, or re-imagine ways you might have met or had that first kiss.
“If the two of you really hit it off in the beginning of your relationship, then this is a great plan to spice things up,” says Knarr. “Try to remember what you did the first time around. For example, were you flirtatious and sexy or were you intellectual? Whatever behaviors you engaged in when you first met, try to re-engage that part of yourself during this exercise.”
take a trip
It doesn’t have to be an exotic destination -- just being in a new environment will give you a new outlook on him, and navigating a new place will solidify you as a team.
“Going away together is a great way to reconnect, especially if you are distracted by parenting, careers and other obligations,” says Knarr. “Just make sure to put away your mobile devices and laptops during your getaway!”
NB: Carole Lieberman is an author of relationship books.
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