For the mums out there, remember how sometimes you get all worked up with the stress of motherhood and wish someone will come and relieve you for some minutes. Luckily, your prayer is answered and your sister comes calling to take the kids for an ice cream. 20minutes later, you pick up the phone and ask where they are and when they are returning....hehehehehehe
That was just a little intro...but that was how I initially felt when I got my admission to study in France. I thought I could use the break, dash for my studies and return to my mummy duties. Little did I know that no one takes a break from motherhood. The first week was a breeze, I barely knew what was happening because we were moving around a lot, discovering new places and carrying all sort of luggages, getting lost and finding our ways...and I remembered thinking, thank God my daughter is not here to share in this stress.....
Then we settled down...
And the loneliness crept in. Little did I know that my little world already revolved around our daughter, I wondered whether she was missing me, how she was interpreting my absence, whether she would remember me when next we saw each other. I remember crying so much while leaving the airport, she was sleeping at the time and I could imagine her reaction when she woke up and starts to wonder, where is this young woman? Worst of all, I wondered how I was going to explain to her later that I could be without her for such a long time.
Over the days, I longed so much for her, hated the fact that my room was well arranged and wished she was there to turn it upside down (I still complain about that, though I love it). It was easier dealing with being without hubby, we could talk and discuss how we were missing each other, but our little girl could not express herself yet, and I could feel it deep down that she was wondering where I was. I cried myself to sleep a number of nights and was very happy when 2 months later, I travelled back to Nigeria to pick her up to join me in France
In all honesty, it has not been an easy task but I was determined to do it - Read my books and also take care of our little angel. Looking back at my decision, it was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. I remember family and friends advising me that it was not going to be an easy ride but my mind was made up. I would rather go through the stress than cry myself to bed every night, have that ache in my My heart felt gratitude to my family and friends who have been so supportive.
To darling husband for being there with emotional and financial support. Ask me about nanny costs the next time we get to talk.
To my lovely SIL- Peju Bassey for being there for us and taking good care of her while I settled in France.
To the Alabi's- for capturing all those wonderful moments I missed in pictures and videos and sending to me day in day out for my viewing pleasure
To Tope Oluwole for his advice and for being there at very short notice to baby sit. Little wonder why one of the first names she was able to pronounce was 'Porpeh' .
To Sheffy Belo-Osagie for her big aunty roles, her selflessness and requests for bonding time so that I can have some time to myself.
To Kepo Omotade for her sacrifice to watch her all saturday while I went on a Paris tour with my fellow scholars.
To be continued.........
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